finley james
A considerable amount of time has passed since our last post. By now you know we had been expecting our second child on or around August 8th. Here is the rest of the story.
When my water finally broke 3 days before my due date, we excitedly rushed to the hospital only to discover after many attempts by the doctors, nurses, specialists and technicians, the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Within moments we were told that our baby had died.
Our son was delivered by C-section at approx. 3:40 pm on August 5th. His name is Finley James, which means "fair-haired little warrior" which he had truly been those 9 months of pregnancy. He was 8 lbs 5 oz, 20.5 inches long and was perfect and ever so beautiful. We were able to spend a lot of time with him before we had to say our goodbyes; we didn't want to let him go.
As you can only imagine our hearts have been ripped apart by this event. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine this to be the outcome of this pregnancy, nor does any parent. But in his brief appearance in this world, he has already shown me a few things. He reminds me there are never any assurances in life, and that I have to be thankful for every precious moment I have with anything I am connected to for I may not know how long it will last. He has also clearly proven I can carry a baby to full term. Although we have no plans at the moment, it is something we may never have learned had we not taken the chance to bring him into this world. I also wondered how, as a parent, you find love for a second child when the love for your first is so incredibly strong and quite literally ferocious. I found it hard to imagine loving another being as intensely as Jack. Well, for me this love was passionate the instant I laid eyes on Finn and perhaps moments before, but I knew with every fibre in my being that it was true. Chris and I will continue to love him and will carry our memories of him ever so close indefinitely.
The stress on our little trio during the period of bed rest and Chris’ final months of law school would have been enough to drive us over the bend had it not been for the encouragement and help received from our family and friends. Our most special gratitude is extended towards our mothers who sacrificed, quite literally, months of their time to sleep on our couch so that they could prepare our meals, play with Jack and clean our home while Chris studied, I incubated and Jack demanded all of our attention.
We’ve learned that parents never really get over the loss of a child, but merely learn to continue in life, growing without them. A very raw, painful realization for us, but one we are accepting the challenge of and are doing our best to be there for each other and of course, for Finn’s big brother Jack.
When my water finally broke 3 days before my due date, we excitedly rushed to the hospital only to discover after many attempts by the doctors, nurses, specialists and technicians, the baby no longer had a heartbeat. Within moments we were told that our baby had died.
Our son was delivered by C-section at approx. 3:40 pm on August 5th. His name is Finley James, which means "fair-haired little warrior" which he had truly been those 9 months of pregnancy. He was 8 lbs 5 oz, 20.5 inches long and was perfect and ever so beautiful. We were able to spend a lot of time with him before we had to say our goodbyes; we didn't want to let him go.
As you can only imagine our hearts have been ripped apart by this event. Never in our wildest dreams did we imagine this to be the outcome of this pregnancy, nor does any parent. But in his brief appearance in this world, he has already shown me a few things. He reminds me there are never any assurances in life, and that I have to be thankful for every precious moment I have with anything I am connected to for I may not know how long it will last. He has also clearly proven I can carry a baby to full term. Although we have no plans at the moment, it is something we may never have learned had we not taken the chance to bring him into this world. I also wondered how, as a parent, you find love for a second child when the love for your first is so incredibly strong and quite literally ferocious. I found it hard to imagine loving another being as intensely as Jack. Well, for me this love was passionate the instant I laid eyes on Finn and perhaps moments before, but I knew with every fibre in my being that it was true. Chris and I will continue to love him and will carry our memories of him ever so close indefinitely.
The stress on our little trio during the period of bed rest and Chris’ final months of law school would have been enough to drive us over the bend had it not been for the encouragement and help received from our family and friends. Our most special gratitude is extended towards our mothers who sacrificed, quite literally, months of their time to sleep on our couch so that they could prepare our meals, play with Jack and clean our home while Chris studied, I incubated and Jack demanded all of our attention.
We’ve learned that parents never really get over the loss of a child, but merely learn to continue in life, growing without them. A very raw, painful realization for us, but one we are accepting the challenge of and are doing our best to be there for each other and of course, for Finn’s big brother Jack.
posted by The Wilsons at 7:45 PM
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