3 months today

Today marks 3 months since our dear boy Finn died. Sometimes it feels as if it never happened then the next moment it is all that has happened in our universe. I spent part of yesterday afternoon packing up his clothing. The set-up of his crib, bedding and other belongings had virtually been untouched since Aug. 5th. I had a strong moment full of distraction to put some things away so I took it. It only lasted 20 minutes or so but small increments of time when they spontaneously present themselves seems to help.

Chris continues to work and Jack and I fill our days with activities: play-dates, nature walks, and even a Mama/Jackie evening date at an over-priced sushi restaurant. I've noticed too much activity has turned into unproductive distraction so I am trying to moderate this by taking time for myself to remember Finn and also the family I get to keep. This helps but I often still feel cold when my arms remind me they are empty.