constant reminders

Babes in slings,
Baby aisles,
Double buggies,
A baby's cry,
The folded baby clothes,
The crib in my room,
Marks on my skin;
Constant reminders of what is not for us.

Visited the deleted items folder in my Outlook today and noticed a weekly email I receive from Babycenter; this one was titled, "This week, your 3.5 month old". Uggh, I had forgotten about this service. I had subscribed to the pregnancy emails as a fun way to track my baby's progress and to learn an extra little thing or too. Unfortunately, the system has no way of knowing when you DON'T bring your baby home and it simply rolls over into "Congratulations, Your baby is 1 week old!", once you pass your due dute. Shortly after Finn died the most I could do was reroute those messages directly to my deleted items because I didn't have the capacity to even open the email dare I view any of the other content while trying to find the unsubscribe instructions.

So now in place of a light informational read, I get a weekly slap in the face. How pleasant. I opened that puppy up and unsubscribed tonight, cursing the cutsy pictures along the way.